207. Things happen for a reason.

Loving you made ​​me feel better, somehow or other, which I have not been able to understand, but it did. It was a feeling unrequited and that was something that was clear from the beginning, I always knew that he would not notice me. I cried for each letter of his name as many times as I wanted and more, I dreamed too many times and I created illusions filled with empty words, but I was happy. Perhaps it was all the bad moments than the good one but I was happy, and so I was. I was happy every time I imagined him by my side, every time I thought I could hug him, every time I thought I could see my reflection in his brown eyes , every time I wanted to have him, whenever swore I heard my name from his lips, whenever fooled me myself ... yes, I was happy.

And suddenly one day everything changed. I was happy knowing I'd never get him back but from one day to another I had him. He dragged his ass for me, he was interested in how I was feeling, what I was going through and wanted to get back to me, touch me, feel my scent and breathe near him. Until the day came and it was better than the illusions that both together had imagined, the desire flashed, we wanted to cuddle, together, we laughed and had fun. He spent the whole night stinging, raging and making me laugh. It made me happy, until the end of that night. I was so happy and so scared that it was a sign that was falling into his trap.

Finally it was like every other time, always. Same story all over again. That night was the start and the end of the short set of stories. The thing he did not realise that night was that, it was the end of the story. No more lies, no more missing you, nothing. Just. Complete. Silence.

206. Te odio, ya no te deseo lo mejor

Te odio de las mil maneras posibles, te odio por engañarme, por utilizarme, por hacerme creer que contigo todo era perfecto, que un beso lo podía todo, te odio por hacerme creer que  una mirada todo  lo cambia, por hacerme llorar, por hacerme reír, te odio por las mil veces que me hiciste sentir que a tu lado solo era un error, por ser mi talón de Aquiles, por ver lo que otros jamás podrán ver, por las mil veces que confíe incondicionalmente en ti y tú me fallaste, por haber hecho que olvidara mis principios, por hacer que olvidara todo lo que un día fue importante, por haber hecho de mi la persona más insensible, arrogante y egoísta del mundo, odio a la persona que me has convertido , odio la maldita sonrisa que se me escapa cuando te veo, odio tu estúpida mirada fija cuando me ves, odio todo lo que me recuerda a ti, odio mirarme al espejo y no reconocerme, odio las miradas de lástima que todos me dedican , odio esa mierda de frase que suelen decirme ' todo irá bien' ,cuando me ven destrozada, odio haber malgastado todo mi  tiempo contigo, haber decidido regalarte momentos importantes de mi vida, odio que te hayas cruzado en mi camino,  haberte conocido, odio no poder olvidarme de ti, no poder borrarte, odio tu nombre, odio todas las canciones que me recuerdan que existes, todos los recuerdos que se agolpan en mi cabeza y no me dejan continuar, odio fingir sonrisas, sentirme sola, odio no poder avanzar sin ti y contigo es imposible, odio haber fracasado, no haberte dado lo que tú buscabas, odio que tú fueras la persona con quien alguna vez fui feliz e infeliz.

Ya no hay nada que nos une, ni una falsa amistad,  ni deseos insatisfechos, nada. Gracias por haberme hecho ver a la verdadera persona que había detrás de ese disfraz de chico perfecto, conozco al  chico vacío  sin sentimientos, un chico arrogante, sin verdaderos principios, ni una verdadera vida, vives y te alimentas de mentiras para que todo tu mundo vaya como tú deseas, eres la peor persona que he conocido nunca, una persona como tu jamás me merecía,  ahora ya no te deseo lo mejor.